Friday 28 June 2013

Down with Farquaad

It's mama bear here!
I can't believe Farquaad would be so mean as to dump us all on this swamp! I'm going to be cleaning for the rest of my life. At least when that little Goldilocks brat was hanging around we still had our house! She was so annoying! Every time she came over it was the same "This one is too big! This one is too small! This one is juuust right!" Why did she have to always take my things? And then every time we came home she told us that we were freaks. just because we can talk it doesn't make us freaks! Besides, I'm proud to be a freak! It's who I am! Goldilocks got to stay in the kingdom. That's just not fair. If Farquaad had any sense, she would be the one out here, not us! Oh and all those stories about us, the ones that say we bears are such great friends with Goldilocks? Lies! All lies! Farquaad made all those stories up about the fairytale creatures so that when he told everyone we were freaks, they would believe him! Now, no one cares about all the innocent freaks and fruitcakes their precious Lord Farquaad dumped on a swamp. The big bad wolf? Yeah, he's a big bad softie. The wicked witch, is the nicest witch I know! We go out for tea together occasionally.
Lord Farquaad has to be put in his place. If it takes a bunch of freaks, then so be it.